Uncategorized

HOW I LOST MY DIGNITY AFTER MARRIAGE

By Anayo M. Nwosu

The guests had gone and we had pulled off our wedding clothes. I was just plotting the best route to follow to paradise when I realized that my wife was pensive.

I guessed that several months of courtship didn’t afford her enough opportunity to understand the real man she married. I was cork sure that she was suspicious of my halfhearted romantic disposition which changed like Port Harcourt weather even though she believed that I was a good marriage material.

I could see the loveful fear in her eyes; the pristine love for a brand new naked husband and the fear of the unknown; that fear of “what kind of a man will he turn out to be?”

In my mind, I said “which kain problem be this?” I was becoming impatient. Not at this time ugo belugolu na mgbagbu or when the the agama lizard had not only started nodding its head but has commenced dripping its slimy tears.

To drag her out of her deep, withdrawn, and emotional drift, I said “Uche my angel, I will not change so much, not to the extent that would make you worry a lot. However, it is important that we agree to the system of marriage we will practice. There are two options- the traditional system my mother and father practiced or the biblical type”, I paused, accurately expecting what her answer would be.

And I was right.

As a young girl, my wife loved God and feared hell. She became born again very early and feared premarital pregnancy, abortion, sexually transmitted diseases and believed that rapture could happen soon. That night all those fears were gone but a new one emerged.

My wife, Uche, was of tender heart, very ladylike, polite and self-respecting without longer throat. Her beauty scared many lily-livered men who would initially intend to win her love but ended up being contented with a mere friendship spiced with a periodic clean minded christian hug.

So, I was not surprised when she said, “I prefer biblical marital practices”.

And that was how the trouble started.

“Uche, my angel, I agree with you. I subscribe to all Jesus and his disciples said about marriage but we must copy the marital examples of holy men in the bible.

“I will then have to behave like married men in the bible namely, Abraham, Isaac, David, Solomon, Joseph etc.

“Accordingly, I expect you from now onwards not to call me by my name. You should now call me “MY LORD” as Sarah, Rebecca, Leah, Rachel, Bathsheba and Mary called their husbands…”

I didn’t finish my last statement when I received a halfhearted slap on my cheek.

If not for the fact that I was still relishing the ecstasy of a tenderly touch before the slap, I would have fined her an cock. Yes! A cock.

“How dare you say that I should also avail you my maids as Sarah, Leah and Rachel did? Are we not living in the modern times?” Uche protested.

I apologized.

Every man apologizes while naked, not when the real man in me was even willing to collect another slap if that was what it would cost to finish what I had already started.

It came to pass that for about a decade of our marriage, that Uche has never called me “my lord” nor treated me as biblical husband.

We have been living the Europe-inspired version of marriage powered by churches. I have by so doing lost my biblical or Igbo traditional marriage entitlements.

Go and check, all those marriage rites in christian churches were crafted by their leaders with the leaders’ culture in mind.

The Christian Bible is clear on how Isaac married Rebecca and how Joseph married Mary, mother of Jesus. That was no different from Nnewi marriage practice before the whiteman came with his own versions.

The churches have complicated marriage processes without any assurance of creating perfect marriages.

Sometimes, I feel as if I have failed my tradition and the bible. But, it is not too late to act.

Last night, while I was reminiscing on my ordeal and that of menfolk, my wife called from the kitchen, “Baby, the food will be ready in five minutes, kindly make the bed while I set the food on the table”.

Her timing was right.

I had already sharpened my pencil. It takes a lot to sharpen pencils these days of stress and lack.

She sensed it.

I had to make the bed while reassuring myself that I was in Lagos not in Nnewi.

Abomination of this sort committed in Lagos doesn’t count for a titled Nnewi man. Alụ emelu n’Lagos solu ndị Lagos!

I’m now called “Baby” not “My Lord”.

Where is my red cap sef?

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published.

You may also like

Business Economy

Chowdeck Secures $2.5 Million in Seed Funding, Spearheading Growth in Nigeria’s Food Delivery Sector

post-image

 

 

Tobi Fasipe, Rider Operations Lead at Chowdeck, announced today a significant milestone in the company’s journey, as it secured $2.5 million in seed funding. This investment marks a pivotal moment for Chowdeck, highlighting its rapid expansion and commitment to revolutionizing the food delivery landscape in Nigeria.

Fasipe expressed his excitement about the recent achievements, citing the remarkable growth of Chowdeck’s on-demand delivery service. From processing just 1,000 deliveries daily upon his arrival, the company now boasts a dedicated team of over 3,000 riders handling an impressive 14,000 deliveries per day across 8 major Nigerian cities.

The meteoric rise in delivery volumes underscores Chowdeck’s relentless pursuit of excellence and dedication to providing exceptional service to its customers. This commitment is further evidenced by the company’s Gross Merchandise Value (GMV), which skyrocketed from ₦1 billion in October 2023 to an impressive ₦2.4 billion by March 2024, marking a remarkable 140% increase in just…

Read More
Business Economy Society

UBA Group GMAP Graduation Ceremony: Insights for Success Unveiled

post-image

 

In a resounding declaration of ambition and determination, the 2024 cohort of UBA Group’s Graduate Management Trainee Program (GMAP) stepped onto the stage last week, marking the beginning of their journey within the prestigious financial institution. Led by a seasoned executive, the induction ceremony not only welcomed the newcomers but also imparted invaluable insights for navigating the intricate pathways of career growth and personal development.

Reflecting on his own humble beginnings, the executive shared anecdotes from his early days as a trainee, highlighting the blend of ambition, thirst for knowledge, and the daunting challenges that lay ahead. Eager to engage with the fresh talent, he opened the floor to questions, unveiling the aspirations and concerns of a generation poised to leave their mark on the world.

Among the plethora of wisdom shared, several key takeaways emerged from the insightful dialogue:

1. Conquering Challenges with Resilience:** Armed with anecdotes from his own journey,…

Read More
Business Economy

Self-sustainability solutions and smart technology will help South Africa overcome its water crisis

post-image

 

 

Technology company, Versofy, best known for its solar solutions and services, says that preparing for South Africa’s water crisis should become a significant priority. The company, which is fast becoming a necessity-driven entrepreneurial brand, believes that further use of smart technology will also remain critical when addressing the pressing issues of water scarcity in South Africa.

 

Ross Mains-Sheard, Co-Founder and CEO of Versofy, says that South Africa’s water crisis is fast approaching scarcity status: “We believe that by promoting self-sufficiency and sustainability through our own smart technology solutions, we will help to address the increasing concerns regarding an imminent water shortage.”

 

The Development Bank of Southern Africa (DBSA) estimates that 2.2 billion people across the globe don’t have access to clean drinking water. This is of concern when considering that water is a basic need for health and hygiene.   According to DBSA, South Africa’s physical water scarcity will become…

Read More
Business Culture Economy Entertainment Investments

Nigerians Rally Against DSTV’s High Subscription Rates, Embrace SLTV as Affordable Alternative – Anthony Emeka Nwosu

post-image

 

Amid mounting dissatisfaction with DSTV’s steep subscription fees, Nigerians are turning to SLTV in droves, marking a significant shift in the country’s television landscape.

The online outcry against DSTV gained traction when Mike Igozino voiced his frustration, announcing his switch to SLTV and condemning DSTV’s exploitation of hard-earned income. His sentiments resonated widely, sparking a wave of support for SLTV as a more economical option for premium entertainment.

“I can watch all Premier League, Champions League, Italian and Spanish leagues with just #5K monthly?! And DSTV collects 23,800 from me monthly… Nigerians, shine your eyes, DSTV came to steal from us,” declared Igozino, encapsulating the sentiment of many disillusioned consumers.

Jennifer Chioma Owolabi echoed the sentiment, expressing her eagerness to explore SLTV as a viable alternative to DSTV. She sought insights into SLTV’s offerings beyond sports channels, highlighting the growing interest in diversifying entertainment options.

Read More
Business Economy Society Software

Azentio Software wins three honours at IBS intelligence (IBSi) Digital Banking Awards 2024

post-image

Azentio Software (“Azentio”) (www.Azentio.com), a Singapore-headquartered technology firm owned by funds advised by Apax Partners, announced today that it has won three awards with its respective clients, at the IBSi Digital Banking Awards 2024 ceremony, held as a part of the prestigious Cedar-IBSi Digital Banking & AI Summit, on April 19 in Bengaluru, India. The company was declared Segment Winners I SME/Corporate Banking, Regional Winners I Middle East & Africa, and Segment Winners I Compliance Management.

 

Organised by IBS intelligence (IBSi), one of the world’s leading financial technology research, advisory, and news analysis firm firms, the annual award program honours technology players, Banking as a Service (BaaS) providers, digital banks, neo banks, and challenger banks for their excellence in driving impact through technology implementations and innovations using emerging technologies.

The Azentio Accolades

  • Digital Badge of Segment Winners I SME/Corporate Banking
  • Digital Badge of Regional Winners I…
Read More
Announcements Business Economy

Ethnos Hosts FinTech Association of Nigeria for Collaborative Discussions on Cybersecurity

post-image

 

Ethnos, a leading cybersecurity firm based in Lagos, recently welcomed the esteemed members of the FinTech Association of Nigeria to their premises for a collaborative meeting aimed at enhancing cybersecurity measures within the financial technology sector.

The event provided an invaluable platform for industry stakeholders to engage in insightful discussions on the evolving landscape of cybersecurity in Nigeria’s burgeoning fintech industry. Led by Peter Ejiofor, the CEO of Ethnos, the gathering underscored the importance of fostering strong partnerships to fortify cybersecurity frameworks and mitigate emerging threats.

Expressing gratitude to the FinTech Association of Nigeria for their visit, Peter Ejiofor remarked, “Thank you to the FinTech Association of Nigeria for stopping by at our office. It was a pleasure hosting such esteemed professionals, and we are committed to fostering positive progress and achievements in our collaborative efforts moving forward.”

The meeting exemplified Ethnos’ dedication to promoting cybersecurity excellence and its commitment to supporting…

Read More
Business Economy Technology Technology Trends Telecoms

Africa Data Centres debuts ADC Channel programme

post-image

The primary goal of ADC Channel is to foster collaboration among partners within the ISP, Carrier, Telecommunications, Systems Integration, ICT and Data Centre providers; Channel Partners will have additional product offerings to add to their current portfolio and in turn generate new revenue streams; The programme offers partners easy access to data centre experts and will provide ongoing commercial and technical support.

Africa Data Centres, a division of the Cassava Technologies group, is excited to announce the launch of its exclusive channel partner programme, ADC Channel. This programme is designed to establish colocation and ecosystem partnerships, empowering members to expand their product portfolio & offerings alongside their market presence including an expanded data centre footprint.

ADC Channel presents a unique opportunity for global carriers, Internet Service Providers (ISPs), system integrators, Data Centres, Mobile Network, Content Developer, telecommunications companies, network infrastructure operators, hyperscalers and others to deliver state-of-the-art, sustainable and cost-effective digital solutions to…

Read More
Business

Chinenye Anuforo Honored with MTN Nigeria Foundation Chairman’s Award for Outstanding Reportage

post-image

 

Chinenye Anuforo, a distinguished journalist with The Sun Newspapers, has been recognized with the prestigious MTN Nigeria Foundation Chairman’s Award for Innovative Reportage. The award ceremony took place during the School of Media and Communication’s (SMC) graduation ceremony for the MTN Media Innovation Program (MIP-2).

Presented by Mrs. Odunayo Sanya, the Executive Director and Board Member of MTN Foundation, along with a cash prize, the award acknowledges Chinenye’s exceptional report on the MTN Foundation Y’ellopreneur initiative. This initiative focuses on empowering women entrepreneurs by providing essential tools such as training, funding, and mentorship.No alt text provided for this image

Chinenye’s report highlighted the significant impact of the Y’ellopreneur initiative on women’s entrepreneurial aspirations in Nigeria. Her insightful exploration of the program’s contributions earned her this esteemed recognition.

Expressing her gratitude, Chinenye Anuforo stated, “I am pleased to receive the MTN Foundation Chairman’s…

Read More